Anyone for a 'sniggle' of chocolate?

With Easter this last weekend, chocolate descended upon our house and it began to resemble a chocolate paradise. "Who wants a 'sniggle' of chocky?" we asked one another, watching each other closely to see how much each person took, so it was all fair. (A 'sniggle', by the way, is a made-up family word, which means: a small piece or wee morsel).

I love chocolate. There is nothing about chocolate I don’t like (apart from the fact it’s currently preventing me from fitting into my bridesmaid's dress ahead of my sister's wedding this June). Chocolate is delicious and, in my opinion, trumps all other food. I can’t walk past a chocolate box and not indulge in what I see staring up at me as I lift the lid.

Am I addicted? No, I don’t think so. But I do always find myself buying a bar of Dairy Milk after a hospital appointment, just to make myself feel better. And for that brief moment, I do.

Some people might say I have an unhealthy relationship with "choc choc" (as my two-year-old nephew calls it). What is an unhealthy relationship, exactly? I’m a good weight. I have a little more body fat than I’d ideally like, granted, but I don’t take enough exercise as I get so tired these days. There's nothing I can do about that, sadly.

My liver hospital tell me to keep my weight down. I have to preserve my liver so it stays as healthy as possible for as long as possible. (A healthy liver means no need for a liver transplant - on top of the heart transplant I will probably have to have at some point). On the flip side, however, the heart doctors say I will lose 10% of my body weight during a transplant, so it's important to make sure I've got weight to lose in the first place.

Whose advice do I go with?

This is not the first time I have received conflicting information. And I’m sure it won’t be the last. But it leaves me feeling very frustrated, worrying about who to trust. It’s scary enough knowing I’m facing life-changing, high risk, surgery, but on top of that, having to choose which professional to take advice from... it's incredibly daunting. How can one ever choose?

Why can’t different departments within the NHS communicate with one another? Why can't they make decisions together as a single unit – stand united in their advice, so patients don't have to decide between conflicting views themselves, with little or no medical knowledge of their own to go on?

As I sit here, happily munching through my Easter eggs, one sniggle at a time, my thoughts are very much with those brave people who are waiting for a heart/heart-liver/ heart-lung transplant – indeed any transplant – and have received conflicting information about the best way forward. Stay strong, is all I can say. And know you are not alone.

As for me, I'm afraid to say, I am not just thinking about my impending transplant. I am also thinking about whether a tailor can alter my bridesmaid's dress to accommodate my chocolate belly and make it part of the party too. Hmm...

A final word about chocolate. We should all do what makes us happy. Don’t face miserable situations alone as this will only make you sadder. Face them with family and friends, allow yourself to feel the pain, and then, if you need a little help from Dairy Milk, make sure you take that help. It is totally ok, more than ok. We all need a little pick-me-up sometimes. We are, after all, only human.